T-shirts

Some translations of T-shirts I have seen:

Admit it - Life would be so boring without me.
-> aksep berita - bio abe interesne tak abene mi.

Common sense is not a gift - It's a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
-> reson abe ne tauma - es puni, akaus ni nesesa abe relasion kon antroptuta, na abe ne ili.

I hate when I go out in public, and the public is there.
-> mi filo ne, temkia mi paso a plas kon antrop multi, e abe antrop multi.

I'd grow my own food if I could find bacon seeds.
-> mi kultur probable alimen auto, si mi inergo eureka sperma ot karnioleo.

I may be left handed, but I'm always right.
-> mi usa jurtuta mani destrane, sed mi abe jurtuta destra.

I may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
-> mi abe espresen, na mi akto nul, sed in sefal mi abe akto multi.

I'm not getting old - I just can't remember stuff because my brain is full.
-> mi esaribe ne paleo - mi memor ne, akaus serebra abe komple.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew.
-> mi es ne beni, na mi eksalegro ni, temkia mi logo, na ni abe sofine - mi ide pas, na ni kones pas na.

If I woke up in the morning and nothing hurt, I would think I was dead.
-> si mi eksdormi futur, e stofnul abe pato - mi ide futur, na mi abe morta.

My husband thinks I'm crazy - But I'm not the one who married me.
-> androgamo ot mi ide, na mi abe resonne - sed mi es ne antrop na, na gamo mi.

My husband's wife is awesome.
-> ginegamo ot androgamo ot mi abe tauma.

Prayer - World's greatest wireless connection.
-> deman a dio - uni elektron abene kordafe plasuni ben.

When you can't find the sunshine, be the sunshine.
-> temkia ni eureka ne foto ot sola, ni obliga es foto ot sola.